Issue 48: #BloodyTears- of #FreeDankula, the GDCjo Awards and Passive-Aggressive Mollusks

Listen to them. The Vanguard of Free Speech. What Dankess they make.

The Randals discuss the prosecution of the ever-grinning, ever-meme'ing Scottish GodDamnpire, Count Dankula; even Swedish bodybuilder/Genetic Supremacist/another vlogger with a bustling bookshelf behind him on camera in attempt to appear preferentially well-read, The fucking "Golden One" is talking about it and for the first time at seeing the youtube drama dogs begin to contagiously bark down the neighborhood block-by-block in hopes of getting some of the Alpha's scraps, WilyMD agrees that this story needs to be barked and argued about, endlessly.

Decades ago, out of the collective miasma conspiratorially consisting of both it's intellect and banality, mankind devised an invention so powerful in it's ubiquity that, if utilized without the proper ethical guidance, it had the potential to destroy their entire globalized civilization. It has since, however, only been fully employed twice; both times as a self-defense measure and an eleventh-hour, last-ditch effort to avoid a further increasing loss of life.

The first time was in August of 2014, in vociferous response to what is now known as the "Gamers Are Dead" Assault of digital articles that represented an editorial industry unwilling to repudiate it's own ethical malfeasance and instead elected to double-down, with the help of big-wig yellow journalism from the likes of The New Yorker, et al., attempting to deflect the then all-seeing scrutiny cast upon them away while weaponizing it into aspersions towards the online activity of what had been, since their inception, their very own patrons.

The second was during the 2016 MAGAWars when the memes were disseminated in a carpet-bombing suppressive fire from the Enola Pepe in response to the idea that a particular United States Presidential Candidate was in any way less contemptible, less corrupted, less warmongering, less status-quo and more relatable a choice than the barely sentient, flock-of-seagulls bird-nest of hair tenuously clutching to the top of a pale-golden, human-head-sized walnut which comprised the opposition.

The bombs need to be dropped once again. "Now I have become freedom, destroyer of mob rule," was supposedly quoted aloud from the Bhagavad-mema by one of the internet's chief architects when the Ascii Middle-finger first appeared in the early 1990's.

The Randals also talk about the Game Developers Circle-jerkoff Awards and the fear of spiders and mollusks of all types: from slugs, to spineless, passive-aggressive neighbors, to people like Steve Shives, Anita Sarkessian and the kind of humanimal that would want someone like Count Dankula to be not only de-platformed, but jailed (because killing him would be pushing the boundaries of good taste). If you live in America, be glad that the laws imposed on him are not your laws; however, philosophically identical versions of what permitted a person to be arrested for being too dank are being imposed on your internet persona via media "service companies" without having ever needing to be passed into law; service companies that are insultingly also using your personal information as currency with other companies.

The decision to convict C.Danks calls into effect every passive-aggressive, gelatin-kneed statement of "I'm not saying censorship," you've ever read or heard that immediately proceeds someone, after having seen some tweet or video or obtusely-digital mammary gland that reminds them just how unfunny, unlikable, unfuckable, powerless or miserable they are, giving a detailed argument about how it isn't funny, likable, is racist/sexist and is not appropriate, so someone has to speak up and be damned if they don't get famous while complaining about it.

Anyone who doesn't want to live in a world where this type of person has the means, memes and wherewithal to spearhead the next PMRC or become editor-in chief at mainstream rags that shamelessly uses laymen's tweeterings as a "source" for unabashedly biased journalistic publications about internet culture, in which the integrity of their very industry is what is being audited by that same culture-clash, is already aware that this conviction represents a backslide into periods of human history that most people regard as utter failures.

They're also aware that dogs can't be Nazis.

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The Lure of the Kissing Skull
, by Vaults of Extoth ft. JSarge
From the UK

Godless (Eva's Hair), by The Ophelias
From Cincinnati, Ohio

Contra Todos, by The Maybes
From Glasgow, Scotland

It's Time, by Cyber Vision/CrudBump
From Columbus, Ohio; should have been on the Hotline Miami soundtrack

Kingdom, by ill-iteracy

All songs used with permission by OneEighth and BrianshipPotemkin for the Y'all BOOLshittin'! Radio Show